Good day my fine friends.

Today’s picture and tale do both haunt and guilt-riddle yours truly, who feels some proportion of responsibility, for this past pet predicament, does in part lay on my own head.

Well, my good pal Rusty, Red, Rex whatever and I had been frolicking in the rear lawned and shrub-bed oasis of said pals domesticated environment and through, lack of, and want of further, entertainment and an un-quell-able mischief coursing through my veins I stated to the gullible pup pet “I believe the feline species is superior than your canine clan“.

Well the young and rufty-tufty bundle of effervescent canine pal said “ poppycock LemMe, soppy cats can’t chase their tails as fast as this” and indeed the young squirt was revolving with admirable, but sadly-negligently-controlled, speed, a consequence of which he careered out of control and lumbered into an unsteady makeshift table of trestle type and did send said table and its edible and beverage booty every-which-aways.   On the bright side, twas not the adjacent fuming barbecue and therefore only salads, dips and raw meat missiles were fired which are a lesser hazard than burning embers and fiery flying fare.  We both feasted furiously on the debris in a bid to destroy the evidence but once the crime corroboratives were consumed the aforementioned want of entertainment stirred again therefore I continued in my disrupted discourse to my pal

“Yes, as I was imparting before our untoward but rather rewarding interruption, said felines have a particularly, almost unnatural, sensitive analytical ability whenever an issue of spatial questionability does arise,   why!  see that gap between the twin limbed tree" (which speaking of the wholly unnatural,tis a freak of nature for a tree to so be formed) "well any said feline would nest its whiskery face betwixt the gap and if no untoward sensation occurred it would be secure in the knowledge it could venture forth with no fear of entrapment, although some of the gargantuan and portly pets I have seen awash the Tinterweb they must either, also sport whiskers of record breaking, and no doubt leg tripping, length or quell this myth or give wide berth to anything less than a wide berth“   and I further stated.

“Why your own whiskers would without any question of doubt fit between the questionable gap therefore I’ll wager that your lithe and lovely physique would follow with enviable ease”

“Errrm I’m not so sure LemMe and it’s a bit high and I have fear of heights”

“Fear of heights, you have a fear of heights, why tis not rational, do you see birds or planes quaking with fear,  No! then there is nothing to fear but fear itself, why I’ll wager you a pound of plump and juicy sausages against a brace of king-size planks of nut riddled chocolate that you could be through in a trice and all sausaged-up before you have time to boast,”    Well I swear that young Scottie’s opticals saw nought but plump and juicy strings of intermittent fleshy pieces as without further delay he accepted my wager and begged assistance  “gis a leg up LemMe”

Yours truly provided not only the requested and assisting `leg up` but provided a hefty and forcible thrust forward too. Well suffice to say I realised immediately that a trip to the local establishment of purveyed pieces of fleshy foodstuffs was necessary in order that I did not dishonourably welch on my bet, but that concern was not as great as the new concern , that of my firmly affixed friend. 

Perhaps, I pondered with hindsight, had there not been the gluttonous foraging among and feasting upon the gourmet banquet in the quite recent untoward trestle incident this predicament might not have had this unfortuitous result, but bright-sides springing to mind, perhaps a few hours natural digestive occurance or worse-case-scenario a starvation type diet might offer rectifying succour.
 
Rustys, rather too irate, owner had appeared at the seen of the pets plight, which was painful to witness with its highly effective display of puppy-eyes and accompanying  puppy-whimpering, twas a combination best not beheld. Said owner gave vent to a torrent of, I’m sure not-a-socially-acceptable degree of abuse, that clearly implied that if any resulting damage to canine coat limb, or mental state occurred, yours truly would be permanently wedged, and as a matter of public interest I shall not say where.    I endeavoured to lessen the potential catastrophe stating to the owner that no doubt there was a considerable amount of specific pet indemnity in place, providing premiums were up to date, therefore a worst a case scenario, or silver lining possibility, dependant on whether you’re a half full, half empty cup type, and dependant on the level of bond already established. need not be too detrimental as said fiscal reimbursement from such assured cover would indeed provide at least a substitute pet and perhaps a superior one, why I have heard that felines are able to assess such as this very situation therefore there would be no fear a repeat and clearly clumsy such circumstance, and well the earlier incident of trestle type, Oh! beg your pardon, you were not yet aware of any such, well blah blah blah and suffice to say a repeat of either incident would de definitely unforeseeable with a more graceful and elegant pet."   Well the owner did shriek and lunge with unnerving intent and from this I deduced the affectionate bond was no longer questionable and felt it best if I depart without delay therefore I skedaddled off avowing never ever to wager again, and to encourage my intent I bet myself that If I could go a whole week without a wager I would reward myself with a the aforementioned nut riddled planks of coveted cacao