Hello my good friends, today I have decided to show you this particular picture and to relate this tale as a   public interest exercise as I wish to highlight the detrimental effects of instant karmic comeback from practised misdeeds.   This feline chap you witness above is in the midst throe of such a, jolly well deserved, karmic comeback attack.     Let me begin, yours, knee deep in chocolaty treats at the time, truly was whiling away the time between show rehersals minding no ones business but my own when along came this oooh I‘m soooo cute loook at me, kit-kat.     I did suspect the feline did fancy one of my cacao delights so did as a result of quick witted connivance simultaneously steer both myself and the conversation in other directions and even further connivance had me querying, without the slightest bit of interest other than my own advantageous gain,the feline fool about himself, this left yours, chuckling, truly, plenty of time to finish the cacoa delacies just, contributing a cursory nod and the occasional hhhmmmm! or should I say mmmmm!

Now I had reached the point that although I was sated fully to brimmed capacity with cremes, coconuts caramels and other such lush edibles, each sumptuously covered in chocolaty shells, and whilst my gluttonous attention was seemingly, to any immediate observer, affixed on le chat, more appropriately the none stop rambling chit-chatting chat, I constantly at any one time had at least one optical organ firmly affixed on the last lonesome, begging to be devoured ,choc, and was literally willing my near recumbent, through over indulgence, person to muster enough energy to beat the onslought of inertia to reach the last delicacy.Now I did note that as the chatty cat was mid seemingly incessant chattery fest the cad did keep his oversized optical organs intermittently affixed on my last treat and did bug-out the said organs to saucer size and did practise an incredible effect of them looming towards my person in a pitiful beseech for the coveted by both parties choclatl.   Now as most are aware it is well renowned that I am usually immune to such organ trickery and vehemently state I can look any puppy, nay! a basket of pups, no bring on a dozen baskets, why even a bakers dozen baskets of such pups and no amount of puppery peeping practise robs me of my common senses as it does to other lesser resistantindividuals.

But I have to confess, though I beg, Nay! I don’t beg, I absolutely insist that on pain of death that you do keep this discosure to yourself as one has an image to maintain, that this little coquetting cat did  successfully practise bewitchery on my good self, disguised as a charming manner .  Well I admit his wizardry charms worked to perfection and he did successfully manage to induce yours truly to dispense with the last chocolatl jewel and hand it over with no resistance whatsoever, well if truth be told I said fetch it yourself as I am too distended with cacao bloat and could scarce muster up energies required for the necessary effort therefore if it were not for such fatigue not even his bewitchery would have made me part with my goody.

Well  I watched him devour it in earnest and definitely begrudgingly, and he to be blunt, rotten well ravage it as if a ravenously starved beast.    I could not control the rivers of spittle running amok my chin as I watched and imagined the lush creamy, caramel covered with a thick coating of rich dark choclaty shell, why my gastric juices are playing havoc as I relate this sorry tale, well I watched him and I swear he did deliberately elaborate his savouring of the pleasure to heighten my torment, as I noted little mastication movement to start and actually he appeared quite the toff cacaoa connoseur if I be truthful, as I could sense he was internally lapping his toungue around the chocolate booty, when all of a sudden he did start to talk, well  the clarity of the speech was distorted no doubt due to MY sizable candy but I did manage to translate ‘slurp, nom, slurp, fooled you, slurp, mmmm,  sdlishuss nom, am sucking your rich creamy chocolate caramel you sucker, you freaky green chocolate-less fool, I am enjoying tremendously your last treat, call yourself an actor well you’ve a long way to go to be as fine as moi ha ha ha ha ha ha’

Well I was livid to say the least but that did fire me with enough muscular managed response to leap from my prone position to towards the having a crack cat and did start to deliver karate style chops all about the back of his person and told him quite bluntly he had better cough it up as I wished to retrieve my treat, well!   that did start off a chain of causation although for legal reasons I state the chain was actually commenced by the fraudulent misrepresentation of the feline fiend in acting pretense of ooooh! I’m sooooo sweet and cute and a friend to boot, well I do declare for the umpteempth time I’m sure one cannot trust anyone.

The cat crim did then, would you believe act the part of throttled victim, yes! quite effectively I admit as there were tears flying hither and thither from his not so oversized opticals now, no! they were closed in pretended pain, but yours, not going to be fooled again, truly just muttered something regarding sending a bill for the cacoa treat by fastest post, so choke on that, chat.

Well I have to confess the cat was quite exceptional as an artisan of the dramatic arts, he was without doubt one of the finest I’d seen with the obvious exception of yours truly.  I told him with as little bitterness as possible ooooooh you’d better be giving yourself a Heimlich hadn’t you, you fraud, but the cad of a cat now did decidedly ignore me as he apparently preferred to continue his performance.  

After some considerable time the cat still seemed reluctant to stop the pretence so did still continue but with rather less vigour and yours, if truth be told a little concerned, truly, but not wanting to fall foul of dupery and once again wear the dunces hat of a dunderhead decided to play act as well and said why! I had better perform the aforementioned Heimlich manouvre old bean as you are well and truly incompetent, and with that leapt into action  and did grasp him firmly around his girthy middley bits and heaved in as hard as I could in fact did so hard I did dry heave and did fear that the next would result in a a non too dry cacao coated covering for the cat cad.

Well my beloved treat turned projectile missile did expulse and shoot straight across the room and land right in the middle of a double shagged and rather grubby rug, now I was wont to go immediately to retrieve it for fear of irreparable damage due to perhaps a coating of acrylic fibres  but had thought that as the cat did lay quite wan  I had best act  fast and get him back to rights and on his way as it would not be favourable to my star character if he was going to snuff it in my presence.

So I cosseted him with two sardines, secured from a further picnic feast I had about my person, and a pat, not another karate chop, on the back and said oh1 is that the time I must be off thankfully you look fine , I tell you what as a charitable gesture on my part lets forget the aforementioned bill, and then I did scarper  post haste.