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Good day my fine friends today again I selflessly cast the spotlight away from my good, public pleasuring, self to relate another tale of that over-exceptionally handsome mysterious masque-veiled-vigilante, fighter of blights, ridder of plights SuperSTARhero. Yes here he was with another of his devotees, who, sadly, sports not his accomplice garb with the panache of our hero. After much hoo-haaing the pets proprietary owner agreed to part with the evidenced pet for the days purpose but not before extorting from SupeSTARhero the promise to mow her lawn for three-core years and ten and further promising to crochet no less than a dozen comfort blankets to distribute to the neglected infants of wayward celebrities to be further redistributed to third world countries when their wonders have been successfully performed on initial parties. Under the unwarranted burden of harbouring a gargantuan resentment but determined not to let it bring a spoil to the otherwise fine day, though the abetter in blight fighting did grumble incessantly about his cumbersome boots that spoiled his characteristic jaunty gait, off the two otherwise congenial chums sauntered, discussing what plights might be needing rectification to day. Well mutually inspiring in the other a mustering up of heroic enthusiasm to enable the ability to cope with entanglements involving all types of cads, wastrels, bounders of any, even Herculean or gigantic, proportion they glanced about with razor keen opticals and meditated, miraculously whilst engaged in chit-chat, in order that there was an undisrupted channel-ing for telepathic cries for aid. Suddenly “ooooooooh! Exclaimed the, as previously explained, panache-less pet, SuperSTAR I could not under any circumstance attend to any incident involving swift movement and / or mechanical pets. I have harboured a perfectly rational fear of these luring tormentors whom I swear have been the bane of my family for generations, why apart for a reasonable burst of recreational activity we are more than content to lounge about nonchalantly but no some rumour monger in days of yore did put it about we not happy unless partaking in a gambol nay! tearing at unearthly paces after rapid rabbit types, well ‘tis poppycock give me a snug rug and a comforting lap to nest my nose in and …………….ooooooooh I just cannot aid in incidents involving such SuperStAR.” “Well” our hero replied “you are allowed this lapse my friend as I too feel I could not today aid any who have any entanglements with festering fruit or indeed other inferior consumer produce as I have witnessed, and bore the brunt I might add of, the wrath that arises between a vexed but not gullible patron of a non too conscientious purveyor of rotted edible and shoddy utility goods.“ Our lovable and highly admirable hero further ventures “Why I don’t know about your good-self but the mere talk of such incidents has weakened my constitution and ruined any notion of aiding and abetting casualties. No! let others bear this burden for today. Truth be told the thought of keeping a slow pace with yourself in your weighty footgear that would result in an unfavourable flow to my velvety cape and therefore blighting myself with a non too aesthetic effect to the observers eye disturbed my mind. No doubt such happening would end up amok the tabloids and all would think ‘twas a small time publicity endeavour, ooooh ‘tis an unbearable notion, come, lets seek chocolate derivate produce to settle my disrupted state and think how to wangle my way out of wending a Mini-meadow munching mower for the rest of my life, grass what is it good for unless you’re a farm-inhabiting pet. |