The Tot Training Tomfoolery Tirade

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Good day my fine friends today's picture and tale will absolutely catapult you into a state of appall. Yes brace yourself as I impart the shocking news that yours truly suffered an assault of highly offendable but thankfully only verbal type as a result of unselfishly giving my good self to entertaining my petite pal here.

I had visited a, no longer deemed, friend, and in truth must state the visitation commenced most pleasurably until the moment when, simultaneously, both the enfant did incur a terrible upset and said friend had to `conveniently pop put` on an errand of apparently urgent necessity whereby as a result yours truly was left, quite literally, holding the baby,

Well the young and now severely distressed tot was, would you believe, not in the least bit impressed with my exceptional handsomeness and luminary status but I reassured my goodself 'twas not a failing on my part to cast my usual spell therefore I deduced 'twas a deliberate and malicious tantrum which unfortunately appeared to be bent on a continued state. Well, yours quick of wit truly did deduce said bambino was in serious want of some tomfoolery therefore I decided to engage 'young misery' in a bout of play acting and purported to be a frisky pup and effected to bark and yelp as such might do. This had the desired affect of raising my winsome -ards spirits to an almost gleeful state . Self-impressed by my own endeavours I do lay claim to a tad of blame to perhaps an over enthusiastic performance of canine characteristic traits, in particular, a similar to the one my now, estranged, ward is performing here.

Well said poppet was highly delighted and so we embarked on a number of pet type play activities until the gadding about parent returned and the delighted offspring did perform the, as witnessed above, vigorous act of puppy gluttony to which the parent with not a jot of praise to be heard, recoiled in horror and started to hurl a considerable number of highly heated unpleasantries upon my goodself. Young pup impersonator did stop mid performance and was thrust into a bout of uncontrollable sobs which did apparently on each imbibe draw in uncontrolled particles of pet feast fodder resulting in an obstruction of the larynx affecting respiration which resulted in a further torrent of tirade type upon my most unfortuitous self.

I did respond with a defensive tone and I had to bray to make my self heard and did firmly state madam I if I recall, "You! thrust an unexpected situation upon me when you dashed off to your assignation and therefore I find your ingratitude at the state of affairs and your lack of decorum both jolly well objectionable and a not-too-mere trifling with my feelings". I further stated "I sincerely hope I can bear up under such an attack and ask you to note I am still charitable enough to show concern for your inflamed self and as such wish to suggest that steps must be taken to temper your boiling fury as you are in danger of causing a festering canker about your innards and could well impede your offspring’s individuality"
I finished with the parting note " I had deduced there would be no impressed state from M'Laydee with regards the canine cock-a-leg trick your child has learned" and did not wait for the response.

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