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Good day my fine friends

Why!   the comic effect displayed by this little braggarty bounder in today’s pictorial treat does still bring about myself a chortle of innard-clenching-ferocity.

He had,... through either, a worrisome fear that his `ooooh I’m sooo cute`-ness may be ceasing to perform its attention-arresting wonders, or perhaps for non other than the want of a sheer indulgence in a spirited bout of tomfoolery,..... decide to partake in this particular sport of, one must admit an impressive, comedic-aural-flap display.  Whichever of these potential frames of mind did bring about this comical effect will, I fear, remain one of the great Universal mysteries.

I felt it my duty to inform him, that despite the fact he appeared to be attracting his coveted limelight, in fact so much so that all others including my luminary-self were rendered oblivious to all the clearly buffoon type bystanders, that it might be best to curtail this practise at the earliest opportunity as it could wreak a permanent blight on his boyish good looks and further could well be a bar to a matrimonial prospect in this shallow society, as tis not the most effective of wooing-rituals, unless the 'objet de ones desire' is of intergalactic Ferengi people.  It would consequently therefore require more far more material gifts than a mere bonny blue ribbon to repair any damage resulting from such and `waltzing your way to favour` would be out of the window as twould be more like trudging through a glut quicksand, which ironically, the appendages that brought such circumstance about might be the only leveraging articles to stop a complete sinkage in an actual unfortunate and inadvertant wallow of such quickening doom.

Well it transpires some cad, no doubt riddled with envy to being rendered an insignificant speck in this limelight of buffoonery, perhaps the shifty type to his rear, feigning sleep under the blame of a humdrum performance yet no doubt hatching a cunning plan, did spill the beans to the young variety-arteeste's elders-and-betters that he appeared not to have scrubbed behind his lugs for four score months and ten and, to boot, his neck appeared from the murkiest of evidence not to have benefitted from a brisk shimmy this side of thanksgiving 2007.  This #grassing-up' brought about the wrath of, and smite across the back of his grubby neck from, his nearest and dearest for bringing about a publiclly witnessed display bringing shame on the family's, otherwise impeccable, heritage, from such basic hygienic lack.

Well some malicious type did bandy aspersions that yours, the indiscriminate friend to toffs, royals and all hoi polloi, truly might have been the culprit and consequently all the furious baying-for-blood types descended upon my goodly and totally innocent self.    I shouted to the best of my ability whilst traversing at high speed homeward bound that.
 
"Why!    I if I possessed such admiral ear type appendages I’d be up to them in admiration at his larks as I swear he could pick up the much awaited entire season of 24 even before its airing with such glorious antennae"
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