Good day my fine friends today’s picture and blog is of a time I had embarked on a vacation to the East after an exhausting entertainment schedule and had decided to reserve a theraputic session in a sanctuary for cleansing my soul of all the impure toxins and thoughts that do clutter up ones person in these times of modernity.  Yes the anticipated pleasure of a brisk buff and shimmy with a mitt-full of some exotic scrub of ginger this, grass or avocado that and an entire bodily cosset with an aquatic-weed was a magnetic allurement, why the mere notion itself was enough to muster up a sprightly invigorating burst about my person.

Well I manage to bear up under the shame as I hold my hand high and confess that a grasp by my good self of any international lexicon is lacking therefore something, Nay! ALL was lost in translation and whilst yours truly, erroneously, thought I had chanced upon a coveted sanctum with a revolutionary revitalising, detoxifying method for refreshing the soul, it transpires was nothing more than a class for the instruction to young novices in pursuit of the sport of swim type acivity.  I therefore found myself bobbing about with a bunch of bambino's without any means of explaining my mistaken predicament as in addition to the afore-referred-to language barrier I was hindered as to any chance of communication via the language-of-sign by the neck-float-appendage which restricted any articulate activity that might have sent any range of signal from a want of intimate need, sheer-had-enough to absolute distress from my unable-to-wildly-flay hands. Truth be told there was no assistant within bobbing, grabbing or visionary distance anyway so any fumbling progress at such would have borne no fruit with its endeavour.

I had been momentarily soothed by the sight of I had assumed a congregated mass of my adoring fans who had in adoration had I assumed hunted my person and well who was I to deprive them of a glimpse of LemMe but alas no, it transpired twas none other than an unruly bunch of inquisitive and highly entertained juveniles

Well, I was deeply perturbed by the fact that I had been charged a princely sum to be a victim of prying ridicule and was soon quite distressed due to the aforementioned communication complexities resulting in the indisputable fact that I had expended more than a sensible time afloat my watery receptaclewithout a protective barrier of appropriate salve therefore I incurred distress as my imagination ran rampant with the notion I was sufferring an aquatic blight of the kind that results in a walnutty wizened appearance to a bodies extremities.  Why such would be indeed so awful that even had I not been restrained by my cumbersome float I would not have dared venture to attract attention with an unsightly hand display for all to see as I could not bear up if I had to endure a horrified gasp from a party bearing witness to the ruination of my perfectness, such is the unfortuitous predicament of a Star and often, a mere celebrity.   All this pondering on such a plight then gave rise to a disgruntled temperament towards both the management and my own idle neglect of the local linguistics that, again such a disgruntle beset upon my countenance, was sure to ravage even such a handsome visage and would no doubt leave a tarnished touch upon such that would disfure all public environments.

Well no doubt any unsightly apparition of my good self would be amok the media in no time and all and sundry would assume I had embarked on a shabby publicity stunt which would then render me, in the eyes of the public. a z-lister. Woah! I beg of you let me catch my breath a moment as the very thought inclines me towards a faint.          Thank you, I shall continue.   I, as you are aware, in all my luminary host am A-list material and no less.

I turned to the crowded throng and displayed what I felt was surely a grimace but hoped passed as a dashing and arresting smile and prayed that such had not,n this unfortuitous plight, ceased its usual wonders to perform.  
Alas, unfortunately a sushi roll that I had partaken of for a light lunch was still in all its seaweedy evidence amok my
otherwise exceptional dental array and caused uproar among the curious crowd and, I never cared to check but, no doubt the media.

Well suffice to say I left, my I had assumed detox de-stress, session with I’m sure an escalating blood pressure, a rising bile and auatically blighted facial, feet and fingery disfigurements and feebly forayed into the commuter riddled environment and spent 26 mins dodging all modes of vehicular transportation until I finally collapsed in an exhausted heap in my hotel room for the rest of my relaxing vacation.