Good day to all souls except wastrels and scoundrels who wreak wrack and ruin upon others.

Today’s picture is from a time when yours truly was not merely an exceptionally handsome, not too modest, bordering on shallow entertainment Superstar.   No, there was a time when I laboured under both a brain and barmy combo of experimental vocation to while away the hours.  Yes until I decided to venture into the world of merely pleasuring the good public I was a top boffin topped only by generations of such Luminaries, who have bestowed on the world amongst many other wonders, such trickeries as harnessing and untilising electrical impulses and ultimately such brilliant types have culminated in creating the wonderful realm of the Tinterweb, but enough of such said boffs as to dwell on details will draw the limelight away from my own self but I will mention one inspirational top and most barmy boffin to whom I owed my temporary foray into beneficial brilliance. Yes! I was inspired at an early year by Professor Julius Kelps the creative genius, affectionately bestowed with the ultimate title the Nutty Professor, without doubt twas this hapless mastermind amongst a goodly number of other renowned twits that did set me on the path of utter barminess.  And this whiz left not only a legacy of loony lab larks but the message to all to be and love your self, in a totally wholesome not tactile type mode of self appreciation, and imparted the message that if you cannot love yourself then you cannot in all honesty  expect others to do so, why I must pause a moment there’s an unfamiliar moistening of my optical organs please be patient whilst I deal with this inconvenience.

Ahhh Thank you,   well to continue, I have in my heyday embarked on a number of experimental exercises,  yes I produced amongst other such success’s an enfant of colossal size for the sole purpose of wreaking revenge on political types by not merely patting them in patronising style on the top of their smarmy heads but no smiting them across their smarmier faces and bestowing on them reciprocal and boast worthy doses of waffle and poop.  Ahh yes I could go on with a goodly number of experimental tales but some cannot be related for legal reasons but I still vehemently do state

1. That in the synthetic-Swiss-roll-filling fiasco the compounds were previously mislabelled by some miscreant and the burns only lasted a few days therefore do declare the fuss nothing more than to sway the jury.
 
2. I  WAS trying to free the monkey and

3. The mouse had an ear on its back when I chanced upon it and I myself was horrified at such an improper use of a pet that I still have nightmares and wish to seek recompense for the assault on my nervous system and reoccuring slumber disturbance.

Well here in this picture you see my attempt to clone a prolific number of potential accessory pets in order to reap kerchingable gain from shallow celebs and their fanatical wannabee’s,  Yes I wanted to see such types all over the globe porting my prolifically produced pets resulting in even more prolificy in the form of profit.  I had initially intended to clone sheep to venture into a woolly pully profit project   “LemMe” I said to myself, forget such sheep, tas been done, tis passe and not practical from a purveyors point of view as the annual wool bounty, though admittedly significant enough not to be discounted on its own merit, must be set-off against the inconvenience of keeping such a flock in my, admittedly spacious, but not pet-on-mass-friendly apartment and the sight of 6 inch pile rugs of woolly source origin with much of the source still intact might cause unease therefore create an unruly flock.

Well at first appearance my cloned pets do look perfect but sadly no, something had gone terribly awry, yes almost the moment this picture was captured each pup went into post-production over-production and did deposit more than its own body weight, at intermittent but very frequent intervals, of doggy doo-dah and though I hastily improvised impressive scoop type implements from trays intended for afternoon tea for gentle folks, which cleaned up a treat so non were the wiser, the exercise left not only a bad taste in my mouth but an highly offensive odour in my flat so was shelved without any delay.

Well my entertainment career did shelve my intended boffin-calling and my future intended plans to reduce the global warming from vehicular pollution by the further cloning of a breed of sturdy and speedy beasts for transportational means for man, yes research had highlighted the success in polar regions of this highly successful mode of gadding about so I thought why this is surely a potentially successful cookie-cutter-business-model and why by 2020 all shall travel by dog driven toboggan, and for the speed needy and status types why you just up the number of pulling pets.   And as an incidental by-benefit when then nights are cold from the global warming why you just tuck up with said pet, or multiple of such depending on your obvious status, in Australian indigineous mode, which to boot provides a further benefit of bandying boasts of why twas a three dog, night nay a five dog night why was so cold last night if I had not nested between my ten herculean beasts I would have suffered a bodily epidemic of serious chaffing. 

On the gloom of global warming, it has innumerable potential catastrophic consequences and one such that will bring misery to the masses is that tis confusing the Maple and therefore threatening production of its heavenly and highly nutritious nectar why I’m suddenly so overcome with a craving for such that must be sated without delay if I am not to go on a no so nutritious do-nut bender that I’m off to find such a perplexed tree to sink my regular and highly prized dentistry into, with total disregard for potential resulting chipping of said prizes, to suckle this god given tree milk neat.