Good day to you my fine friends, today’s picture shows yours truly Out & About while looking for fun recreational experience, of only wholesome type, in chance encounter with this primate pair and though at the time I thought, well! tis not quite a barrelful of mischievous monkeys but still is bound to be a bit of a lark non the less therefore stopped to amicably pass the time of day.

Well the maternal bonding did not go unnoticed by yours, ever observant, truly so I decided the best way to curry favour in my quest for a fun filled time with renowned mischievous types was to pass a courteous complimentary comment to the luverlee femme about her remarkable, astounding, accomplished, cute or whatever, offspring embellished with necessary, as can be deduced from picture evidence, ginormous fib as yours, completely taken aback, truly was not prepared for the sight that beset him.   Fully aware of the adorability factor of any fledgling of the animal kingdom I embarked on what I had assumed would be a pleasant exercise of admiration of the enfant animal but was instead the involuntary witness, nay victim, of a monkey-man-type-mischief surely the result of an improper laboratory lark as you can without doubt evidence.   Now I do defy any that dispute my claim that this was a hybrid, not of  pretty as in botanical type, but of horrifying and unnatural combination of half, nay two thirds man to one third monkey and will denounce any such opposition of this claim as non-too-trivial-taradiddle and insist, despite the fact such practise is of old fashion and no doubt not politically correct, that you wash such fibbing from your mutinous mouth with mild detergent and water solution.

Well I do normally believe respect has to be earned through lengthy and nurtured relations unless you do, as yours, dummkopf truly did and impart obvious offence on an over protective primate parent, then the utmost of said respect should be delivered without any delay and in incessant mode to quell any feral fury that might come to the fore and result in a rearranging therefore resultant scarring of fine features, my friend.

So in order to hide my horror I launched into thoroughly embarrassed and hopefully not-too-little tact by way of hopefully redeeming rant and stated "why! your bonny-bereft, and hoped she had only a basic grasp of English grammar and overlooked my blunder, baby, looks mighty familiar, why! I can't quite put my finger on it, he reminds me of- now is it my neighbour?  no! tis some famous type, is it a popular songster? no tis on the tip of my tease-riddled tongue, I can see it in his optical organs, perhaps a celebrity of some other type"but to be honest found both the combination of entirely sham complimentary endeavour and ponderous, perplexing person comparability exercise to Bush me right out.  I was plagued with torment, twas non less than mental turmoil and Bush-ed me beyond belief so I embarked on further but differently directed rambling rant and said "he looks kind of miserable M’aam, perhaps he is in need of a feed" well, either plagued by guilt or common sense the mother did whip a tropical treat in the form of, the unusual formed, banana and yours truly, recoiled in alarm, why M’aam, don’t be fooled by this admittedly luscious fruit tis reknowned that they are a potential hazard to the health, well yes, I acknowledge they are chocked to their bent brim with vitamins of nutritional benefit  for the maintenance of a healthy-not-nervous constitution, but tis for a reason M’aam such instant nerve repairing repast and to aid the potential consequential injury from coveting of such,  why tis a life- lottery to feast on this fruit, yes, as often, arachnids of humongous proportion, are found nesting among the crated curved consumables, yes deadly man feasting types, so big they can trap and wrap a man, nay! ten men in one fell swoop I’ll bet, in their, admittedly wonderfully woven but, wicked webs and they no doubt drag them of for a feasting fest, and they shed their skins, no not the spiders, well yes, they do too, but no, I mean these attractive fruits yes they shed their skins and cause havoc to unsuspecting perambulators resulting in untold accident type catastrophes, just wishing to be of service offering this advice M'aam."

Well M’Laydee had the offensive air of one accused of bad parenting to so I contuned with my now uncontrollable rambling rant and went on to praise just about every primate under the sun, well two or three in an attempt to redeem the situation.

"Madam I feel your people, pardon me, primates, are of incredibly talented and successful stock.  Why yes there’s that King Louie of globally renowned jungle fame, a right Royal cross-dressing, not that there’s anything wrong with that, no each to his own except for wastrels and cads, type you know, with a penchant also for pyromania, now yes that’s a tendency that should admittedly be tamed unless administered under controlled conditions with perhaps a Swan Vesta not stick induced ignition,  who are we to judge said Royal anyway why it could be the result of a lab-life-but luckily let-loose, why what man, let alone monkey, subject to forcible fumery and cosmetic appliance might not resort to such habitual practise no I lay all blame no doubt on mans inhumanity to man and primates of course, well and other beasts, and I say be warned man, tas been prophesised that worms will turn well beasts well primates yes I’ve seen Planet of the Apes and it gave me the willies I can tell you"  well no impression was made so on I ranted.

What about that Cheeta, yes the cheeky and showy sidekick to that that ever so swift, creeper swinging, lusty lunged toff turned untamed, barely clad, Tarzan type, yes that charmed chimp is 75 years old no less, why tis a good fortune in itself without the fame dont you agree"  

No response.

"Now I wasn’t going to mention this but will just to save a potential faux pas on your part madam, so you don’t go being duped by the great rock and roll swindle, no not the famed mockumentory, but yes The Monkeys, who were not as anticipatednot as expected a party of a percussion and plucking performing primates but lo and behold a bunch of, admittedly still mischievous and entertaining types, none theless a disappointment when expecting a pet type presentation.  Oh and what about the infamous King Kong the fore-runner (pardon the pun) of free-running why yes this beast did with incredible agility for one of such cumbersome form run up a bit of concrete construction faster than a rat up a drainpipe it didn’t catch on though, no I blame the superficial world of showmanship yes all must be lithe and lovely and labelled correctly in kerchingable garb so despite the fact he was ahead of his artful time he fell by the wayside, quite literally thanks to a discharge of airborne craft fire and free-running fell into the annals of history until revived in more ‘appropriate fashionable mode, mind you it was his eye for the laydees, well to be fair, one, that was his downfall, well  it was said air attack but had it not been for yon lass then said free-running fool might have fared better.

Well truth be still M’Laydee showed no sign of anything less than offfence at attention to offspring and not a mischeivous moment was to be found so yours truly admitted defeat and departed without any further delay.