Good Day my fine friends today I relate to you a tale of another of my artistic endeavours.
Yes being an artisan of the dramatic arts of entertainment type I am therefore accursed with the affliction of never being satisfied with my fortuitous lot and I therefore feel I should be thrusting my extremely handsome face and never ending talents upon the goodly public at every available opportunity, it sometimes gives me the right old pip I can tell you such exhausting demand on a Superstar.

Well I had again decided to pleasure the public with one of my renowned artistic endeavours whilst simultaneously attempting to reap a cash booty from an annual event for fashioning grains of sand into to admirable forms, why twould be a doddle to yours the master of manipulating materials of any multiple type, nay almost be criminal the ease with which I could wrest the booty from the nowhere-near-grasp of all others

I had laboured with both love and a gritted determination to ignore distractions despite the fact my luminary status was attracting a swelling throng, yes by the time I had almost completed my mountainous art de sea grit there were nigh on 7 I had assumed devotees but it transpired this swelling mass consisted of two enfants terrible on whom I had to keep a watchful optical organ permanently affixed as I sensed with unnerving ease that they were petit pranksters intent on securing the tools of my trade perhaps to thwart my otherwise assured victory.   There was a mature gentleman , accompanied by a companion of questionable relationship, I originally assumed he was so overcome with awe at both my luminary presence coupled with my artistic skill that he fell to a faint, it transpired he was an art loving, and ailing  octogenarian and anything more than a 100 yard amble especially coupled with the of sight creative piece not knocked up by a Mike Angelo,  or Tinta Retto was practically a disfigurement of and downright abuse of a public environment, I inoffensive defense stated that quite frankly I felt there appeared to be more sign of mobility and life in my mountainous man of sand.

There was a canoodling couple who were reaping the benefit of my gargantuan art to act as a barrier of surreptitious type to partake in a practise of I’m sure definitely not publicly endorsed practise, and finally a lady with an unduly inquisitive pet that nested its nose all about my recumbent bust rendering my creation with the appearance of a post-chicken-pox- plagued party and it cockily relieved itself no less than three times on said creation, which as I pointed out three infuriating times any imbalance in the liquid-to-sand ratio could cause displacement or discolouring if the fluids were of foreign body and not aquamarine origin therefore scuppering my chances of an acquiring a decorative piece of silverish knick knackery and a reasonably significant cash wad, if a resulting landslide leading to disfiguration resulted, Why twas not a formation of a gargoyled façade it was my artistic expression of mans inhumanity to man, I was highlighting through my art both a symbolic and physical representation of the burdensome oppressions man must bear in his tramp on the treadmill of existence as his in his lot in this both wondrous but simultaneously insignificant plot of the Universe.

Well I had to leave my masterpiece for want of refreshing sustenance unless I too wished to succumb, in the blistering inferno of a day, to a faint like the chap with spurious claims to an discerning taste of the arts I therefore did treat my self to super dooper triple Decker knickerbocker glory, which proved to be a faux pas as on my return there appeared to have been, due to the opportunity presented by my absence, an act of sabotage upon my creative genius which had the appearance of a colossal appendage of clown character type which had clearly been placed for comical effect and apparently was not without its intended success as there was now a far larger crowd all united and unanimous in their roaring and falling around with uncontrollable laughter and hurling abuse upon myself and my artifice in such a manner that it was unavoidable a consequence that my triple decker would fall foul of the projected sand missiles.

None of the cowardly crowd would take blame, responsibility or even credit for said hi jinks upon my craft piece and  suffice to say my pock-marked-disfigured, discoloured and now bafooned up piece was beyond redemption and I had suffered for my art yes I been sabotaged, sunburnt and insufferably subjected to scorching of both scoff and sun type and it took three days, of incessant and tender application of an embrocation of Aloe Vera about the entire surface of my scorched form that only a person of trained medical vocation or a mother could supply to soothe both my bruised ego and the fiery attack of the sun.  Before I close I would like to take this opportunity to express my gratitude to my dear old mom.